10 Reasons
by Gundambaby
Summary: It has been quite some time, but here comes a new one! Why it is more fun to be: A Wraith scientist
1. Man, Woman, Gay

_... hope you also think it's funny ;)_

**10 Reason ... W****hy it is more fun to be…**

**A man in Pegasus…**

… Nobody thinks you're a loser for being over 40 and still Single

… Two pair of shoes are enough

… Everybody around you wearing the same clothes like you doesn't bother you

… Nobody expects you to look decent or even sexy being called to an emergency after midnight; Facing the Wraith in socks and boxers might be risky, but not embarrassing

… If you break a puddle jumper it's the mechanics fault; Nobody will think your driving skills suck

… Running out of shaving gel, antiperspirant or make up doesn't make you want to commit suicide

… Yelling, ranting and generally hating a person doesn't cancel out great sex with him her; Being yelled at or insulted is no reason to cry or go see Heightmeyer

… You staring at anything with boobs no matter what species and drooling isn't obscene but very manly

… Caldwell is a man; He decides in the end what makes it to Atlantis or not

… Having sex with aliens doesn't ruin your reputation

**A woman in Pegasus**

…10 percent women, 90 percent men on the expedition – if you want a date, just blink once and then pick the best

… Dr Elizabeth Weir is in charge

… You can impress every man by do men sports like climbing, kick boxing and surfing; If you lose a competition you don't lose your womanhood and still have chocolate

… Medical exams don't scare the hell out of you

… Laundry coming back pink doesn't make you want to commit suicide

… Chocolate is of the list for life sustaining groceries

… Feel free to complain about being cold and people won't call you a wimp but actually do something about it

… You can make McKay feel guilty for yelling at you by crying; Accepting gifts, coffee or chocolate are no attempt at bribery to you but a nice gesture

… Wraith are afraid of you that time of the month

… Teyla won't ever beat you up just for the fun of it

**Gay in Pegasus**

… After two months everybody starts to reconsiders his sexual orientation; Thinking about the chances of getting into a hetero relationship or getting in one at all will increase your chances exponential

… Returning pink laundry is no reason to get upset; Skin tight, shrunk clothes aren't either

… You can decorate your room anyway you like, since your parents won't come to visit anyway

… Knitting or sewing are a handy skills; After tearing their favorite shirt even the straightest marine will come to you

… Snuggling up to your teammate to conserve body heat is not suspicious but logical

… You can borrow and watch all seasons of Sex and the City, Desperate Housewifes, Queer as folks, Dharma & Greg and Friends without being called a softie; You can invite your crush over and be sure he'll show up just for the sake of not watching Star Trek reruns

… You can always blame aliens or ancient artefacts making you do it when getting caught varnishing your nails

… One shower room for all – including Beckett, Ronon and Sheppard

… You can proclaim your love by handing over your complete candy and coffee stock to your lover without feeling silly; A Powerbar with a candle stuck onto is a very romantic and sweet birthday present

… Listening to Babara Streisand, YMCA or ABBA songs is nothing but common; Dancing to Right Said Fred's 'I'm too sexy' on the new year's eve party is traditional

_TBC?_


	2. Kid, Sheppard, Chef

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**A kid on Atlantis**

… Given the atlantean gene-pool, you will either be a prodigy or a super athlete

… Saying '_the Wraith culled my home work_' or '_I couldn't do my maths because the Asuran invaded_' is so much better than '_the dog ate my books_'

… Gorgeous aliens take care of your physical education; Having a crush on your teacher and wanting to marry him her once grown up has never been more presentable

… You don't read Peter Rabbit or watch Teletubbies; Quantum physics are your lullaby, the adventures of the SG –1 team are your good night fairytale

…You get homeschooled by the most brilliant minds in the whole universe; By the age of twelve you'll be a match for both Samantha Carter and Stephen Hawking

… Most of your toys are over 10 000 years old and weapon-grade

… You are not afraid of monsters in your closet, since they can't hold a candle to the ones you know for real

… You get around eating your greens most of the time by asking the botanists what it is you're eating

… If you're born with the ATA-gene, you would get all the attention you want by simply switching on and off the whole city

… Puddle Jumpers are the best strollers ever

_**Okay, now the common ones are through – onto the specials :)**_

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**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**Sheppard on Atlantis**

… Except for your relationship being completely platonic, Atlantis is the best girlfriend ever

… Nobody in Pegasus is mocking your hair style when you run around with (w)hairdos like the ones on Ronon's or McKay's head

… You can play golf and don't have to worry about not putting the ball near any hole at all, for there are none

… Since there's nothing else to watch on TV, you are 'forced' to spent your days with football and hockey reruns

… Alien priestess are no myth; Neither are chiefs daughters

… You're official job is to secure the city; Unofficially you spent your days annoying scientists, watch TV and avoid training with Ronon

… Blowing up spaceships is cool; Flying one is even better

… Getting beaten up by an Alien each time sparring sounds better than losing to a woman

… 55 Billion lightyears between you and your Ex-wife

… Losing your way on an alien planet is never as embarrassing as getting lost in McMurdo

* * *

**A Kitchen chef on Atlantis**

… You can always transform your oven into a atomic bomb by as much as pushing one button

… Nobody can tell for sure if you have been using laxatives or if the new grains are to blame

… You are the highest authority in Atlantis - you hold the key to the coffee supply room

… Marines and security know better than to ask if you're kiddy when you call them to catch the fleeting vegetables before they reach the shore

… You don't have to eat what you have cooked

… The annunciation of the menus for the next month is way more nerve-racking than a Wraith siege; In the end it's you who decides how many people will leave for Earth on the next Daedalus run

… If you want to set people on a diet, you simply tell them the truth about what they ate for lunch

… You know the secret of making McKay smile

… The ancient kitchen knife rack is better stocked than the atlantean amory

… After three years on Atlantis, nobody can even come close to you in grossing people out; One pitiful look and everybody in the mess stops eating


	3. Kavanagh

**_Thanks to_**

_Jenwryn Jezzalinko Lady Kayanya mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SithLibrarian_

_Sorry for the bashing... but I really can not stand him öö_

_

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_

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**Not Kavanagh on Atlantis**

… You coming into a room doesn't result in every conversation stopping and the crowd disbanding

… Fingers won't point on you on reflex after something has blow up; McKay takes more than three seconds and a quick glance to ensure it was your fault before starting to rant

… You can walk into your quaters without being afraid to step into a force field, mine or bear trap

… You can eat what you want, how much you want and wherever you like to, without having to page the infirmary in advance

… Underwear doesn't come back shrunk and pink generally

… Nobody will sign you up for suicide mission, plumbing or patrolling flooded city parts just for the fun of it

… If you almost get beaten up by Ronon for no reason, he might even apologize afterwards; People will feel for you (and not gleefully)

… People apologize and mean it after almost pushing you from a balcony

… Weir would at least try not to grin when you hand in your resignation; The whole base won't celebrate for weeks after you're gone

… You can be sure Carson would never, ever allow McKay to come near you with a black marker whilst you are sedated


	4. Chuck

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**Chuck the gate room technician on Atlantis**

… You have permission to make city wide announcements; Knock and run was never more fun

… The readings of the heat sensors tell you before anybody else know's dinner is ready

… You're the first to get to see people step through the gate; One'd be surprised to see the amount of coffee people leave in front of your door after coming home almost naked with hickeys all over

… The city might like Sheppard the best; But you're the one with access to security cameras in the shower rooms

…You're no voyeur; It's your job to keep an eye on everybody after all

… If showers freeze or doors don't work and zap you, the blame will always be with the scientists; They would rather think the city is cursed than suspect you

…You are the king of gossip, not even Heightmeyer can beat you to it; People still think of you as the friendly Canadian working in the gate room

… Being compared to your counterpart in the star gate room on Earth doesn't make you feel inferior

… 90 percent of the Atlanteans have lost money through betting to you so far; As long as the offworld teams don't find out who always slips the details of their missions, this will continue

… People never think about you spying on them via city camera's because 1) they can't recall your name and 2) you're just an ordinary, friendly technician, right?


	5. Ronon

**:) Thank you very much:**

_Jenwryn Jezzalinko KariHermione khajit Lady Kayanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SithLibrarian_

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**Ronon on Atlantis**

… When you are bored, you can always think up 'ancient' Satedan sports as an excuse to beat up Sheppard

… The '_I'm from another planet and have no clue what you're referring to, explain it to me_' joke never get's old

… Sheppard will rather let himself get beaten up with a wooden sword over and again than try to get you play golf again after losing like _that_ to a rookie

… Stunners are ten times cooler than a earth guns

… Each time Sheppard forbid you to shot somebody, said person turned out to be a pain in the ass for real; You know you will get your carte blanche for shot on sight soon

… McKay nick-names you Chewie, Ronan the Babarian, Terminator and Worf; Sheppard is either Captain Kirk or Spock

… Linen and leather are still comfortable when soaked; Military BDU's ain't

… Your smile is as threatening as your scowl

… You can beat up people as much as you want to, and they still like you

… You are a bigger babe magnet than Sheppard in this galaxy; They might smile on spotting him, but they definitely giggle and blush when seeing you


	6. Radek

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be...**

**Radek Zelenka on Atlantis**

… Besides you, there are only two people on Atlantis who understand Czech; One is a linguist and the a botanist, so you can curse in the labs as much as you like

… You might be the only human on Atlantis who has ever been of been insulted by McKay and had him apologize afterwards

… Chess is the sport of kings to geeks, losing is not an option; Within two months, you had to stop accepting return games or there would have been nothing left to trade for on the black market

…You do not have the ATA gene; You don't have to fly puddle jumpers, sit in the control chair to fight the Wraith or have to live in constant fear of accidentally blowing up the city by thought

… No matter how unfriendly and rude you behave, compared to McKay, you will always be the 'good scientist'

… From Jeannie Miller to Samantha Carter, almost every pretty woman coming to Atlantis tries to team up with you against McKay; You do not feel disloyal memorizing stories of kid's birthdays and garage experiments

…You can make Dr Weir feel important by calling her down to translate ancient data; This does not result in more free time to you, but also in a boost in pay by end of the month

… Everybody thinks McKay is bullying you all the time and thus pitys you and slips you extras; Nobody has to know for now that you are very capable of bullying right back

… Sheppard and Ronon might have more hair, but yours is the one with a life of it's own

… You are the owner of the only working distillation still on Lantea; You do no control the black market, you are the black market


	7. Teyla

Thank you:

_arcticmoonshadow Cptn. Suz Jenwryn KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Lady Kayanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SithLibrarian_

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**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be...**

**Teyla Emmagan on Atlantis**

… Your only official duty is to hang out with the three most wanted men of Atlantis

… Your ability to sense the Wraith always give you a decent head start; As member of an offworld team, this certainly is an advantage

… People come to you out of their free will to get beaten up and still call you the prettiest and nicest woman they ever meet

… As the only female on the team, you get your own (way more comfortable) bed room, better food, gifts, flowers and loads of hypocritical, but nevertheless flattering compliments

… You can always fake Pms, migraine or other girl stuff to scare Sheppard out of asking you to play golf with him

… 1000 miles between you and your closest relatives; Embarrassing childhood stories stay on the mainland

… You are considered to be nothing but a friendly, innocent alien with a serene smile, with no clue of piggish innuendos, kinky stuff and debauchery; For a long time you did even fool your own team

… Since nobody has any clue of the Athosian culture and history for real, you can use '_The way's of my people are different' _as an unlimited excuse for almost everything

… You know each and everybody in this galaxy; Your only worthy adversary on the field of gossip is Chuck the gate room technician

… Staring at half-naked priestess is considered obsence and chauvinistic; Staring at well toned priests and chief sons isn't


	8. Elizabeth

Thank you: AKAArzosaharcticmoonshadow Camerin Camy Cptn. Suz Ditzyleo gabumon Jenwryn Jezzalinko KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Lady Kayanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SithLibrarian wella Whirlwind-2005

Sorry this one a bit lame O.O

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******10 Reasons why it is more fun to be **

******Elizabeth Weir on Atlanits**

… Your office provides front seats for the daily 'Atlantis were coming in hot' show; You're possibly the only human on Atlantis beating Chuck to the news now an then

…You make the rules; In combination with your veto right for the Daedalus shipping list your position is indefeasible

…Caldwell can try using similar military interests and threats all he wants; All you need to do is hug O'Neill to get city command returned

…It's your job to order the most wanted men of two galaxies around

…You are a woman; Chocolate can pacify your ego, you don't need to endanger your position by craving for space ships or big, shiny weapons

…Since you spent 70 percent of your time waiting for something to happen and playing Freecell meanwhile, nobody can top your score, not even Sheppard

…You controll the hand out of supplies; You don't even have to bother participating in the black market to get whatever you want

…You can always use your high position to get out of a relationship if you feel so

…It's an unofficial rule you're the only female allowed to wear red on Atlantis; But even if you accidentally sort your laundry wrong, nobody will ever blame you for pink uddies

…You're not the only person on Atlantis with a bath tube in his her bath room; But you're the only one patient and smart enough to read the ancient instructions to actually find and use it


	9. Caldwell

Thanks to: _AKAArzosah arcticmoonshadow Camerine Camy Cptn. Suz Ditzyleo E. Nagrom gabumon Jenwryn KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Kayanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Meg-z Peg-z mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SenseOfTime SithLibrarian wella Whirlwind-2005 wolf guardian of light_

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Betaded by Kodiak's Sweet Breath 

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be...**

**Steven Caldwell**

…You are Santa Clause, best buddy and just plain god in one person; just crossing some extra points on the shipping list and you get your own monument on Atlantis

…Atlantis might have Ronon and Teyla on the alien department; you have Hermiod

…Sheppard may be the military CO of Atlantis, but you have your own Asgard battle cruiser!

…One would be surprised to know what people might do if you just hint you might know what's in their private package

…Since you brought Kavanagh back to earth and have not returned him since, you're something close to a local hero

…You have the better bumper stickers

…There are plenty of men on Atlantis not only smarter, but also way more handsome and nicer than you; but you the guy with unlimited coffee and chocolate supply

…Weir can play dictator on Atlantis all she wants – as long as you hold the Daedalus, you're the dictator's dictator

…If you hand out unpopular orders, there still Lindsey between you and Hermiod's wrath

…Not only can you laugh your ass off all you want when doing a detour to pick up Sheppard's team after they screwed up a offworld mission; you also get a lot of money from Jack O'Neill after he lost the bet - again


	10. Wraith Queen

**Thanks to**

_AKAArzosah Anna Taure arcticmoonshadow Camerine Camy Cptn. Suz Ditzyleo E. Nagrom gabumon Jenwryn Jezzalinko KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Kayanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my lymbis Meg-z Peg-z mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SenseOfTime SithLibrarian wella Whirlwind-2005 wolf guardian of light_

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**10 Reasons ... Why it is more fun to be ...  
**

**A Wraith queen**

… Saying 'You're sooo sweet' or 'I could eat you alive' ain't no shallow phrases to you

… 'You suck!' is actually a compliment to you; you're a maneater per definition

… Bees and alikes don't have the acne gene

… 80 percent of Wraith intelligence run on the female side

… Your make-up is still perfect after 'dinner'

… You're the only female on the ship; Even if you'd run into another (prettier) queen, you could always start a war on her hive for 'survival' reasons

… You're toys are edible

… There's no such thing like chastity amongst the Wraith; You having ten men a week is not considered wanton, but glutton

… Since all Wraith ships look exactly the same inside and are full of spider webs, you never panic or feel like spring cleaning when meeting other hives

… You have enemies like John Sheppard, Rodney Mckay, Ronon Dex … you really don't need any friends


	11. Asuran

_Challenged by lakewater _

**10 Reasons ... Why it is more fun to be ... **

**An Asuran**

…Terminator and Matrix aren't fictional, but biographical to you

… You're not ugly or fat, you just need a new display adapter

… What the hell is Mircosoft?

… Cellulite, acne, love handles and so on are _options_, not features to you

… Saying 'My HDD slipped' sounds better than 'the dog ate my homework'

… You don't bother with small talk or pick up lines, but go straight forward and download your personal space into his her mainframe

… Who needs Big Brother, Ophra or other Talk shows, if one can tune in human minds?

… No matter how hard you try tobe like them - you can't ever possible mess up worse than the Ancients did

… You don't beget children, but design them; It's up to you if you want to install puberty or not

… Why get rid of your Ex-lover, if all you need to do is reprogram his her basic code?


	12. Atlantis

Thanks to:  
_AKAArzosah Anna Taure arcticmoonshadow Belisse Camerine Camy Cptn. Suz Ditzyleo E. Nagrom female'wraith gabumon Jenwryn Jezzalinko KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Kayanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my lymbis Meg-z Peg-z mrskeeler Reefgirl Scarbantia SenseOfTime SithLibrarian wella Whirlwind-2005 wolf guardian of light_

Special Thanks to Kodiak's sweet breath for the beta

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**10 Reasons ... Why it is more fun to be ...**

**Atlantis**

…You're home to the craziest, funniest and best-looking human expedition ever

… You have people like Rodney McKay and Radek Zelenka in charge of fixing you

… 10 000 years on the bottom of the sea, and you still look fantastic

… You can swim, dive, fly and go invisible, not to mention all your weaponry; All things considered you're more like a Swiss knife than a metropolis

… You don't quite come to understand the term 'boredom'; after all, the idea of big brother is based on your omnipresent video surveillance system

… Famous earthian towns have, if at all, their most popular buildings copied; you have got a whole cloned city looking exactly like you

… You have a great sense of humor; Shutting doors louder than usually or messing with the over head speaker after an atlantean horror movie night is your idea of fun

… Through your sensors you have ears and eyes; but (fortunately) no nose

… You have no idea what BMI is all about; being called _big_ is just naturally for a city

… Only handsome men seem to have the ATA gene ….


	13. Carson

_AN: Tefano means 'I haven't a clue !' and stocious means 'drunk'_

**10 Reason ... W****hy it is more fun to be…**

**Carson Beckett on Atlantis**

…Weir might be officially in charge - but in fact the keeper of the keys for the medicine ( and even more important narcotic and laxative) cabinet is the true ruler of the lost city

… It is so much easier to love one's big family if there's no way to stay in close contact because their's billion light years between you and them

… With competitive like Dr Biro and the local medicine man, you will always remain the most popular and beloved doctor of the Pegasus galaxy

… Sometimes, when dealing with really stubborn hypochondriacs, you diagnose a bad chase of stocious or enormous tefano and prescribe some placebos ; there's only one more Scott on the expedition, and he knows better than to peach the head of medic

… Not even the most daring new recruit would ever think about pulling pranks, making fun or spread gossip about the person doing the monthly check-ups; not like you're resentful… but the kitchen chef does owe you one or two favors, just like Caldwell, Rodney, Weir, Sheppard, Ronon…

… You befriended Meredith Rodney 'the ego' McKay; If not already for your medical skills, this would be the final proof of your god-like status

… You know more than 130 mysterious but medically funded reasons and terms to fill in lines of the 'Send back to earth via express' list for annoying recruits

… Many people marvel how their best friend would be like if being mixed with their lover; You know what it is like (… and maybe next time it will work out properly…)

… You believe into the Hippocratic oath and would never even think about giving away details of your patients intimate life; Still more often than not you find an extra package coffee or chocolate in your office

… People have to be ordered to go to see Heightmeyer; you have to shoo them out of your office and apartment and stop them from spilling all their secrets because you're so damn nice and trustworthy


	14. Puddle Jumper

_Sorry, this chapter is a bit lame .. I really need fresh SGA input, can't wait for the new season T.T!! Uhm... I promised someone to put his her name in here, but I just can't find the damn mail! Please pm me... argh... I really need a vacation... and more SGA 'sob'_

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**10 Reason ... W****hy it is more fun to be…**

**A Puddle jumper on Atlantis**

… Peak oil doesn't bother you at all

… You can swim, fly and even do time travel – not even the bat or bond mobile are as useful as you

… There are no kids on Atlantis – this means, no need for child's safety seats, no cup holders, no crowded glove compartment, no sticky windows and littered floors; Billions of earthian cars do envy you

… If scientist tries to abuse you for tests or cannibalizes your parts, you always get back at him her by switching off the dampers during the flight training

… No speed limits, no vehicle inspection, no space police – billions of earthian drivers envy you

… You are the ancient equivalent of a bumble bee; given your form and power, plus considering the basic laws of aerodynamic, you should not be able to fly – but nobody does care about

… 10 000 years without any form of maintenance, no available blue prints, frequent complete breakdowns, the worst karma a vehicle known to human kind had so far, and on top a design like a bread box – but still everybody does believe you're the one only thing the ancients didn't mess up

… As long as you're labeled as Sheppard's 'babies', no one will ever dare to smoke, eat or leave litter inside of you, unless he or she is completely suicidal

… Who needs an anti-theft device, if only people with the ATA-gene can steer you?

… There so such thing as a drivers license; There's only a list of people Sheppard hasn't found a presentable reason for a ban on flying yet


	15. Extra

_/this is shamless, but please watch the Atlantean Superheroes, link to be found in profile ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing. This 10 Reasons is a sort of emergency posting, the long term between the new seasons is really getting me Oo\_

**Why it is more fun ... **

**To be an Extra on Atlantis  
**

…You have dozens of girls marvel at you playing chess, for nobody has got any idea why two pensioners should be on an expedition in an alien galaxy or why you never show up again

… People will eventually forget Bates, Sumner and even Ford – but the lady scientists going through the stargate with a huge headlight on in the first episode on will remain in people's minds

… Even though you look like a giant bumble bee on warpath, you're important for helping to make the series more realistic by showing what Atlanteans do and wear on their day off

… You're on the screen less than 30 seconds - but at least your death is important to keep the plot going (You even had McKay pity you!)

… If you ever have kids of your own, you can proudly tell them it was you playing the famous Wraith drone on the very left in scene 342000 (the one getting shot immediately)

… You play roles like '20 seconds lying in a stasispod, unmoving' and 'not grinning during final speech of captain' – but at least you got a nice costume and were on the set of SGA

... Your face will be forgotten the minute it appeared on screen; but your very low-cut dress and the beer you carry will be remembered and help form men's fantasies

… Your screenplay sheet does consist of one single sentence 'You have to look angry, dirty and stone-age like.'; There's just no way you'd get it wrong

… It may not be a art form of it's own – but you've become really good, if not the best at running round in the background, looking busy

… Playing a child annoying McKay might be the start of a really great carrier; just look at the first role of Jerry O'Connell ….

(Extra extra reason 11: ... Almost every SGA fan would do anything to get your part!!)


	16. Native of pegasus

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**A native of Pegasus**

... Your people haven't yet managed to invent anything more complicated than a sledgehammer; but you already have found out how to make beer, conserve it, and how to trick the male aliens into trading it fir way better things (like beer in cans) for exchange

... You can annoy McKay as much as you want to without having to worry he may send you back to earth, take away your coffee, or just yell at you straight for 20 minutes (god bless Weir's 'diplomatic behavior' line)

... Something has to be right with your galaxy, if you can trade 200 pounds of grains for 2 days of Dr Beckett taking care of you

... You may not have a TV set, and no daily soap operas; but hearing stories of the lost city of Atlantis and it's strange inhabitants getting themselves into hideous trouble is highly amusing as well

... You never have to worry about pesticides, insecticides or other toxins polluting your clothes or food; Living a healthy live is so easy if one doesn't have any other choice

... You really don't have to worry about things like 'lost morals of the juvenile', overpopulation, old-age poverty or Alzheimer's disease – in fact, forgetting about the Wraith might be a positive thing in the end...

... Not knowing what metal is or how explosives are made without blowing yourself up first doesn't feel all that bad, when finding out the atlantean aliens are able to fix ancient technology - but still walk straight forward into the most obvious trap, getting themselves 10 meter above the ground dangling from some tree

... Life is so much easier when ones basic philosophy is '_get food_', '_do not get swept up or killed otherwise by Wraith_' and 'f_ind pretty partner tomake kids NOW before getting killed_' – there's not much time for brooding or pondering on the sense of life left

... Sheppard isn't allowed to play golf offworld

... You have no time to develope a proper national sport like baseball or rugby; but you have become really good at 'hammer and stone throw at alien intruders', '_Middle distance with raised pitchforks_' and '_Hurdling for men and woman through the woods after pagans_'


	17. Atlantean Coffee machine

**10 Reasons why it is more fun to be ...**

**An atlantean Coffee machine**

... You are literally worshipped night and day

... You are more efficient than 'the force', for you only need your dark side to hold the universe together

... The true reason why offworld missions are so unpopular isn't for the fact they are considered dangerous, but for the lack of a functional coffee provider once you step through the gate

... Atlantis can last for weeks without food, but only for two hours without coffee

... You are possibly the only '_girl_' a scientist can hold a lifelong love interest for

... 50 percent of the atlantean crew could be kidnapped, tortured and killed, and nothing more than endless negotiations would be done to retrieve them for five days ; if the coffee machine was to be stolen, this would result in an instant declaration of war within 2 hours

... If a person dies, it's sad; if the coffee machine breaks down, it's tragedy

... You are the one thing that people from Atlantis are allowed to - and certainly will - talk about on returning home

... Although it is clearly evident you are heartless drug dealer, who is getting innocent people addicted and is to hold responsible for ruining numerous lives, nobody seems to care

... '_The coffee machine breaking down_' is second only to '_Asuaran and Wraith invading simultaniously and killing us all_' on the top ten list of worst ways to die


	18. New recruit

_Thanks to lakewater for the challenge :)_

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**10 Reason why it is more fun to be ... **

**A new recruit on Atlantis...**

You still believe in the ancient laundrette, your fellow marines and the myth of nymphomaniac good looking hot alien priestess

... The scientists may be smarter than you, but you have already mastered running for your life, shooting on hilarious targets and accepting strange orders before you got on Atlantis

... Even if you told your family you're not being stationed somewhere in the Caribbean, but in fact are headed for a foreign galaxy with lethal monsters lurking everywhere, they would still be relieved you're at least not going to Iraq

... For now, only the 99 percent of your time that will be are spent with activities like _looking busy_, _not falling asleep whilst standing around guarding the city_, _avoiding the gym for Ronon might be there_, _extreme TV watching _and babysitting scientists on their trips round the city matter to you; you do not worry about the remaining one percent (yet)

... You adapt to alien food quite easily; a person with a sensitive stomach doesn't stay a marine for too long

... Since you don't get paid for being smart, you are not tempted to lose what little belongings you brought with you in foolish nerd games like chess when trying to proof your intelligence to senior staff, who just know how to exploit stupid new recruits

... Comparing tax collectors to Wraith, you still think you got off with the better sort of life sucking bugs; at least you are allowed to shot them

... There are only so many good movies and series out there, but an unlimited number of football games and other sport events  
... Better getting beaten up by Ronon once a week than having McKay yell at you three times a day  
... '_sucked to death_' as cause of death can still make you chuckle


	19. New scientist

**10 Reason ... W****hy it is more fun to be…**

**A Newbie scientist in Atlantis**

... McKay hasn't memorized your name yet (and chances are quite good he never will), so the chances you of getting away after messing up are quite good

... It's still five times more likely you kill yourself working on an artefact than getting sucked dry by a Wraith

... You still remember earth well enough to not get homesick

... Coffee hasn't become your reason to live yet; you still recall what sleep is good for

... You still think life-sucking bugs, insane robots and telepathic whales are sort of funny

... You believe in the omnipotence of science and ancient superiority; You keep on saying things like '_nobody would be that stupid_' and '_Who would ever try to program anything like that? That would be suicidal!_'

... You are sure most stories about McKay and his temper are exaggerated, and he is a very nice guy once you got to know him better (he is canadian after all!) 

... Since you haven't gone offworld yet, Chuck's stories still amuse you for you think they either 100 percent made up or one hell of an exaggeration

... You actually enjoy alien food, for you have no idea what the animal/plant looks like your meal has been made off'

... You can still write '_the Laptop is mightier than the gun_' on your coffee mug and consider yourself witty, for you have yet to realize the irony of it


	20. Major Lorne

10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…

**Major Lorne on Atlantis  
**

... Art is whatever an artist does, no matter what the outcome looks like; Nobody without a degree in the fine arts can criticise you for real  
(where as a bad golfer is a bad golfer, no use in trying to cover it up)

... You have a rudiment sense for directions; you might get kidnapped now or then, but that's not half as embarrassing as to get lost the second you step out of the puddle jumper

... You rank high enough to not have to train with Ronon

... There's a difference in enjoying coffee and being addicted to it (or having somebody on the team who is)

... You have lost an aurora class spaceship – who cares?

... Teyla is so much sweeter when you have not seen her kill a Wraith or beat up Ronon

... Sheppard does trust you; but fortunately not enough to send you on missions like 'fly bomb into hive ship' or 'go get ZPM'

... When your team goes offworld, Chuck doesn't even bother to set up bets; your mission reports rarely count more than five pages and include murderous alien priestess, six month stays at the ancient-meditation-inn or waking up the Wraith

... Botanists don't blow things up; anthropologists know how do deal with angry villagers; marines tend to listen to orders given and don't mop the floor with you each time sparring – and McKay is not on your team either!!

... You don't have to pretend for the rest of your life to know only one damn thing about War and Peace


	21. Wraith Drone

For E. Nagrom :)

* * *

**10 Reasons ... why it is more fun to be ...**

**A Wraith Drone**

... You may be butt ugly, but at least 20 millions other Wraith drones look just like you

... You can play all you like with your food and mommy won't get angry

... There's no such thing as communication problems between you and your fellow Wraith – 'food' and 'kill' is quite an universal language

... You are the self-declared champion of power nap

... There is nothing you regret not doing when dying; for your mind is programmed for feeding and killing only, you've had a very full filled life

... Smart is one of the things you aren't – but who cares as long as brute force is all you need to rule Pegasus?

... Your DNA makes you a close relative with cockroaches and bees; still better than share 90 percent of your genes with pigs

... You have been created to be a fighting machine; it might be quite dull, but at least you know exactly where you come from and what's the sense of life

... Having no name at all is still better than having a number like 'elven of ten thousand seven'

... Who cares you're more than 500 years old, but still live with your mom?


	22. MashUp

_Hello everybody! Thank you for all your reviews and kind pms last year!_

_Happy new year!! _

_Yours GB _

* * *

**BIG NEW YEARS LEFTOVER-MASHUP - All those people and things who didn't manage to get 10 single Reasons...**

* * *

**10 Reason ... **

**Why it is more fun to be…**

**... Daedalus**  
... No Wraith or Asuran would be stupid enough to try and sink you – for who wants to face a caffeine deprived McKay??

**... An Asgard**  
... snamuh esufnoc ot nuf hcum os s'ti  
... Asexuall reproduction – what the hell are STDS, pregnancy stretch marks or penis envy?

**... Jeannie Miller**  
... **He** is your brother

**... Not Evil!Ford **  
... You have two matching eyes  
... Your new best friends aren't alien drug addicts  
... '_recurring character status_' might mean you appear more then twice on the screen before being finally killed  
... Your replacement won't be a 1000 times cooler than you

**... An Ascended being**  
... Who needs soap operas when one can watch '_Atlantis – struggle for survival_' 26 hours an eternity?  
... Thanks to your ominous 'higher being not mess with lower ream' rules, you really don't have to feel bad when your past mistakes kill billions of people nowadays  
... So far, none of your self-designed enemies has learned how to ascend

**... A person on M7G-677**  
...Teenage pregnancy really isn't a problem to you  
... alopecia, arthritis and myocardial infarction are nothing but urban myths to you

**... Dr Keller**  
... New Doc, new luck – nobody does know your stock of placebos yet  
... You have all of Dr Beckett's notes and research on how to deal with McKay  
... The nurses won't molest you and give you 'cute' nicknames like 'our Scottish teddy bear'  
... Your patients still think you're nothing but a nice young lady, who would never threat a patient with clysters, cupping or alien leeches when angered

**... A Flagecallus**  
... McKay is your friend  
... McKay is your friend  
... McKay is your friend


	23. Ronon's Hair

**10 Reason ... Why it is more fun to be…**

**Ronon's Hair**

... People only need to see you from afar to get scared

... Anthropologists, biologists and scientists are still arguing on your species and gender

... You occupy the safest spot in the whole galaxy of Pegasus

... There are rumours of you eating flesh and howling at moon at night

... You survived mud, rain, deserts, alien insects and the Wraith; no hairstylist would get away alive trying to cut you

... What exactly is the use of a comb again?

... "_Your hair is by Ronon's thus refuses to grow_" is an official medical explanation for sudden hair loss

... You currently rank place 7 in '_The 100 most lethal weapons in the Pegasus galaxy_', right after nova bomb and ancient blenders

... Based on the calculations of the science department, you are not only water and bulletproof, but also might function as a lightning rod and be capable of bending time

... New recruits are told you might bite if being touched; 9 out of 10 believe it


	24. Wraith Scientist

Requested by Shanthaia - hope you like it :)

* * *

**10 reasons why it is more fun to be ...**

**A Wraith scientist**

... Your Mommy allows you to use your siblings as test subjects

... It's impossible to install Windows on organic computers

... You don't need coffee to keep your brain up and running

... The only woman in your life is your queen and Mommy; dedicating your life to science and science only if you have no sex drive at all sure isn't that hard

... If you don't have any friends in your own hive, you can always kidnap some human people and turn them into your own kind

... You realized a long time ago ancient technology means more trouble than worth keeping

... You have all the time you need to finish whatever you're working on; if the program needs 40 year to run through, you just take a really big nap and wait for it to finish

... Food comes in two sizes – dumb or intelligent enough to discuss your theories with you while you work on it (you take brain food to it's extent)

... There's no noble prize or MENSA for Wraith – which makes cooperation that much easier

... You're good enough to even clone someone's accent


End file.
